today

Today contains a lot of things. In actuality, it's all I have right now.

Headset was my friend in the Chick-fil-A drive-thru during lunch hour. It was fantastic! When co-workers were freaking a bit when an inspector showed up, it made me wonder why people do things if they're going to try to hurry up and change it when they're going to be inspected. Why don't you just do it the right way all the time? Some things make no sense to me.

A few minutes ago, there was some fantastic light out my bedroom window. I love light. It could be argued either way - do I love photography because I love light or love light because I love photography? However, I end up with hundreds [thousands?] of picture I never use but take because light makes me happy. Thus the uncreative feeling right now, even amongst happy light.

The water pressure on our well has been down lately. My mommy tells me I need to just be grateful for what I have and go get a bath or shower or whatever I can get. She's so true, but I want it to all be right! I live in a lot of luxury, and don't like it when I can't have it. So many people live with so much less than I do...

I'm really thinking about going to Haiti in November. On a recent visit with a friend, we were talking about life and my current goals, the biggest of which is saving for a car. The thought came to my mind and I shared with her: "it seems pretty shallow when my life consists of saving for a car." She agreed: "I daresay that is a good question to ponder. I think life is bigger than saving for a car too." Thus it led to me thinking that perhaps I should just use my passport and go see another culture. That isn't exactly how I thought it, but it would help with the "bigger than a car" perspective, and would definitely be life-changing.

Time passes so quickly and sometimes it seems filled with nothing at times. It's really scary. There are so many things I need to do that keep getting put off. Something has to change.

I'm going to try to write more, even if nobody reads it. I read something recently that to write better you need to just write more, even it isn't great. Because you won't get better unless you do it, so that's what the plan is.

why change?

it was an unnerving thought. for the fourth year in a row, she was looking at the reality of being in a different church building come her birthday. after years of having the security of actually belonging somewhere, the last four years of her life had been a bit unsettling, not knowing what was next or why all this was happening.

this time, she knew ahead of time. yet it didn't really hit her till the announcement was made. then, the tears fell and she felt so alone. what was going to happen? how could things get better? what did the future hold? life had definitely brought lots of changes in the past year with more prospects of change in the coming year, but this, really? why this, and why now?

she thought of the hopelessness of last year. how God intervened and given her some special friends. ones who loved her and encouraged her for who she was and were very special souls themselves. and she wouldn't have met these dear friends without experiencing a new birthday with new faces and a new church. thankfully, she knew she'd still have these friends no matter what different directions they may go.

it was hard to come to a conclusion, because there were no facts other than the fact that she had to move on. she wanted to talk to somebody, but the people to talk to these days seemed to get fewer and fewer. after all, it gets tiring after awhile having everyone jump to conclusions about your life or decisions when all you want is for someone to hold you, listen to you and keep believing when your faith is a bit shaken.

again, she was faced with changes in life, and she wanted to resist so badly, but what would the resisting do? if it couldn't revert reality, what was the use? so, it seemed that it would be okay to shed a few tears and then remember "life is hard, but God is good." after all, this is what had gotten her through past times. for even in this, God had promised that all things would work together. redemption should be on the horizon soon.

"Push Story"

Okay Red Inkers, I am here. I need your help, critique and input.

Basically, I have this assignment for a mentorship I'm in. I was supposed to write a "push story" for my photography - using my personal story/experience and my top 5 photography "values" to create something akin to a script for a promo video to show people why they would choose me to take their pictures. Ahem, it's supposed to be something like that. I don't know if I'm making sense.

Anyhow, if you could read it and tell me how it flows, if I make my point good and anything else you have to input me on, that'd be great! Here are my "values" that I was supposed to incorporate into the story:

Top 5 “reasons/words” why I value photography:
Moments - it encapsulates moments in time that are gone in an instant, but relived forever.
Life - life is a treasure and can be seen all around you - I love the beauty of life.
Communication - here among life, communication is important. We all long to be communicated with in some way.
Expressions - it captures expressions I would otherwise miss.
Memories - every passing day, is a memory. They are pieces of history that make up who we all are as individuals. I celebrate this.

______________________________________________

When I first picked up a camera I was so naive as to how it would change my life.

Without even trying, I took life for granted for a long time. It seemed as if life would go on the way I dreamed. In my dreams, the important people in my life were always there. It just seemed right that way. The summer of 2009 was to change my thinking.

My Papa got cancer and it was a quick nightmarish dream that ended up with us burying him in the fall. We always were a close family, and with my grandparents living five miles away we got together often. I never pictured any of my grandparents out of the equation of our family.
Back in the spring, before we knew he had cancer, Grandma & Papa were over at our house one day. My little sister, Mary, loved Papa so much, and loved to take walks with him. So off they went on an afternoon stroll. With a suggestion from my mommy to take advantage of the special moment, I soon had my camera and took a few pictures. Six months later their value was going to immensely multiply for me, even though I had no idea then.

One day, realizing how quickly Papa was slipping away, I printed some of those pictures and sent one to Grandma. She told me “they brought tears to my eyes and my heart.” It was sweet to know the message that had been communicated to her through a priceless picture. Their expressions and that moment are forever engrained in our hearts through those pictures.

For me, photography is a way to capture those fleeting moments that are quickly just memories. Through the medium of a photograph, memories can be relived so vividly over and over and over again. Expressions you would forget, communication that is so important, moments that are so swiftly gone, all can be preserved through a photograph.

Most importantly, it is my goal to help people enjoy the beauty of life and the sparkle of every moment. When I can do this with my pictures, I feel like I have succeeded.

Confession

To My Fellow Red Inkers:

I have a confession to make, and must make it public with all of you.

Lately I've had a hard time focusing on things. This has led to me being unfocused on a lot of things, some of which I really need to devote my time to better. Part of it does have to do with my failure to prioritize, make a schedule and not waste my time doing other things.

This challenge sounded great, and I really wanted to do it. However, right in the middle there came up an opportunity for me to take advantage of a mentorship opportunity. I knew it'd require a lot of me, but figured I could play scrambled eggs and fit all of this into my crazy life.

It's not working.

I'm starting to feel a bit better, after feeling really down about life and responsibilities. There are things I need to work on, things I need to really focus on, things I really need to make myself do.

All that to say, I am not promising any more posts on this blog until I find a better time. I don't want to do it halfheartedly, and that's what is happening. I really love to write, and I really want to write. This place is going to stay here so I can come and write whenever I can - and please do feel free to keep up with it, whenever I do write.

I don't like copping out or being a quitter. But I just wanted to share these things with you. I will do my best to read and comment on y'alls posts, but I've had a hard time keeping up with that too. It has been quite enjoyable to read what y'all have written - to see the variety and interests.

God bless each one of you. I'm not leaving - but I do want you to know some of the reasons that I really haven't written every day. I took too much on at one time.

Till Later, friends. I'm off to fix dinner and head to church.

March 12, 2011

Today was beautiful.

Went to a little prayer meeting at church. Saw a special friend.

Rode out to the country with my brother. It was so very quiet and peaceful. Visited with a dear Granny friend, took pictures of yellow jasmine on the fenceposts, and took a walk through the woods with a friend and my brother.

We drove to another country place, where we ate some food. Then we stopped by my friend's work place and took her candy and a card and visited for a few minutes to make her day a little brighter and make her smile. I think it worked.

I came home, folded laundry, took a shower and feel more rested.

Hopefully I can write soon. But life is beautiful. . .really it is!

I Don't Know What To Title This

Okay, let's set things straight:

I DO love words.

I AM lacking time right now.

I WANT to put my thoughts into words that make sense.

My brain IS mushy. {this is NOT funny}

My heart IS full.

I AM out of sorts with myself right now. {NOT a very cool place to be}

At least I can write here and y'all will understand me to a point. That makes me feel a little bit better.

But right now, this is where I'd like to run away to:

_____________________________________________

I would love to grab my Bible, journal, and a passel of pens, jump into a car, don my sunglasses and turn on some melodious melody that would calm my spirits. My choice for the moment would be something such as "A Place Called Grace" or "Through the Fire", for such words would speak to my heart where I'm at right now. Down long highways I would go, till I found my spot.

This place I speak of is in my imaginations, and I don't quite know the entirety of what it looks like or where exactly it is located. But what I do know, I tell. It's well off the beaten path, a little cottage surrounded by woods, but the woods are not too close to the cottage. In other words, breathing room is plenteous. The sounds of nature come alive, along with the blooming colors of spring. There is no phone, internet, computer or any such thing available. It's a quiet place - a lovely place. There are several places that are beckoning you to come and rest: the wide porch, the swing out back or the gazebo down the wooded path.

If you were to go there, you would find rest, rejuvenation and relaxation to your heart's content. You wouldn't want to leave, for it would be a haven of peace and comfort and you would learn more about the beauty of life and the specialness of every moment in more ways than you could imagine. It's a happy place, and I cannot imagine anyone who would not want to go visit for at least a little spell.

Sometimes, sometimes, I really wish dreams would come true.

_____________________________________________

Keep dreaming, you say? Eh, really? It's making me more out of sorts with myself and a little more bah-humbuggish. Blah. At least for this moment. But it was fun to write. ;) ha

I'm Alive

Dear Fellow Red Inkers,

I apologize for my failure to be 'here' in this challenge. It's not the way I wanted it to turn out. I really want to write. Yet I have tons of other assignments that I've been needing to work on which have been consuming my time and my energy. Yes, I want a break.

Anyway, I have not forgotten. I shall probably catch up when all of y'all are long since through and finished well. Then nobody shall be around to critique my writing.

Hopefully I can write something later today or this weekend. We shall see. There is a lot I need to learn and take in and get done.

Thank you for your kind hearts and understanding.

Here I Stand,

Your Fellow Red Inker

{Ruth Ann}