I Don't Know What To Title This

Okay, let's set things straight:

I DO love words.

I AM lacking time right now.

I WANT to put my thoughts into words that make sense.

My brain IS mushy. {this is NOT funny}

My heart IS full.

I AM out of sorts with myself right now. {NOT a very cool place to be}

At least I can write here and y'all will understand me to a point. That makes me feel a little bit better.

But right now, this is where I'd like to run away to:

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I would love to grab my Bible, journal, and a passel of pens, jump into a car, don my sunglasses and turn on some melodious melody that would calm my spirits. My choice for the moment would be something such as "A Place Called Grace" or "Through the Fire", for such words would speak to my heart where I'm at right now. Down long highways I would go, till I found my spot.

This place I speak of is in my imaginations, and I don't quite know the entirety of what it looks like or where exactly it is located. But what I do know, I tell. It's well off the beaten path, a little cottage surrounded by woods, but the woods are not too close to the cottage. In other words, breathing room is plenteous. The sounds of nature come alive, along with the blooming colors of spring. There is no phone, internet, computer or any such thing available. It's a quiet place - a lovely place. There are several places that are beckoning you to come and rest: the wide porch, the swing out back or the gazebo down the wooded path.

If you were to go there, you would find rest, rejuvenation and relaxation to your heart's content. You wouldn't want to leave, for it would be a haven of peace and comfort and you would learn more about the beauty of life and the specialness of every moment in more ways than you could imagine. It's a happy place, and I cannot imagine anyone who would not want to go visit for at least a little spell.

Sometimes, sometimes, I really wish dreams would come true.

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Keep dreaming, you say? Eh, really? It's making me more out of sorts with myself and a little more bah-humbuggish. Blah. At least for this moment. But it was fun to write. ;) ha

An Exceeding Abundant Life

Tonight I'm happy. Quite contented, peaceful, excited and expectant.

It's been a busy day, today has. But I got lots accomplished, and now here am working on a few projects and realized that I hadn't written...oh fun! It's been in my head all day long but I've just not been able to stop and make it happen. So let's see where I go. :)

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Life is so different than what I ever imagined it to be. Yet at the same time, it is so much richer, exciting and fulfilling than anything I could ever have dreamed. It reminds me of a favorite verse that says "Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us..." [Eph 3:20] The more I live the more I find truth in the fact that God is an on-time God and His ways and plans are so much better than mine.

It is true that there are times where I feel discouraged, when I just want my dreams to come to pass now and on my terms, but then I'm reminded that it's not about me. In fact, all of life as a Christian should be spent living every moment and doing everything I do for one purpose: to bring glory to God.

My thoughts tonight are happy thoughts. I came home from church where we sang "My, my, my what a JOY to serve my Jesus, Oh that I could explain the way I feel..." That pretty much sums it up for me right now. There's no greater happiness than what comes from feeling peace in my heart that I am participating in His work.

In the past few weeks I have seen God's hand on my life. He's given, He's taken away, and right now I can stand and say "Blessed be Your name!" It's really beautiful. It's always an encouragement to me when I know without a doubt that God has given me projects to do, and they weren't just something else I decided to do to pass time. Honestly, I'm just excited about the things I've been seeing God do and what He is in the middle of doing in my life.

The other day I found out that I no longer have a job. Basically, I was "laid off", if you want to put it in proper terms. You see, I have worked part-time for a Christian ministry for teenage girls ever since I graduated high school six years ago. Finances have been tough lately and they cannot afford to pay me at this time. In the midst of wondering how I am going to pay my bills much less save money for other things, there is a peace in my heart. God has a plan and I am so excited to see what the next part of His plan is. It's wonderful to remember the part of the verse that says "exceeding abundantly."

Sure, I still have dreams for what I want life to contain. It'd almost be impossible to live without them, for that is what keeps me hoping and growing. Yet for me, I need to keep my eyes on Jesus so I'll dream His dreams for my life and see them come to pass. Life may be different from my expectations of younger days, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

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This was so 'spur of the moment' but I needed to write it. Can't wait to hear y'alls thoughts! And, seeing it is so late, no, I didn't proof-read it. Y'all get that joy!

ps: thanks to all of you who commented with ideas for improvement on my last post. I read the comments but have yet to fully process them and make my edits. :)

pss: hehe. I DID proof read it - quite a few times actually. So it's cleaned up since the beginning. told you I'm forever doing this.