waiting, wondering and anticipation

don't ask me why I titled this what I did. it's just because it needed a title, and those were the words that came to my mind.

you know, life is far from what any of us expected it to be, I daresay. there are so many surprises along the way, so many bumps and bruises that we wouldn't have planned.

so I was thinking. now that Christmas is gone, there is just one week till the new year. this time next week it will already be the 2nd of January. it's pretty crazy... sometimes it'd be nice if life would slow down for a bit, so I can catch my breath and think about this life that is running by. life seems to have wings and wheels of its' own.

when I think of a new year, it can make me uptight. it's like I want everything to be perfect and new with no mistakes. right now 2012 doesn't have mistakes in it. but when I arrive in any new year, or day, or week, I bring along with me a fallen nature and tend to mess things up. it can be so overwhelming.

for me, resolutions don't work, so I don't even try them. yeah, I can say I want to lose weight or eat better. I can think of nice things I want to do, goals I'd like to accomplish, and a life I'd like to live, yet when it's all said and done, life doesn't turn out the way I imagine. it takes a whole lot more than resolutions to change a life. to sum it up, it takes God, but it also takes self-control, self-discipline and determination.

I am so timid about 2012. this past year has been long and hard, in different ways. it's pretty obvious that I'll be taking "unknowns" of life from one year into the next. for that, it'd be pretty nice to clean the slate and start over absolutely fresh. why isn't this possible?

so that's about it. I can only take it one day at a time, thus the anticipation of what is to come.

after all, what /is/ to come?