sometimes, I wonder. what if boys knew how much we dissected them? how we talk about the things we do or don't like, how they do things certain ways, what they wear, and all other sorts of things.
sometimes I think it'd be neat if I could take all I like in guys and combine them to make up a guy for me. that is so unrealistic, but there are certain things that just irritate the stew out of me, and there are 'nice' guys who do/wear them.
sometimes relationships just seem too complicated, and I think it'd be easier to buy my own house, travel the world and do the things I love to do. seems way less complicated. and yet, I don't want to fall into a feministic mindset that I can do everything without guys.
and yet sometimes, it gets to the end of the day and I want a guy who will let me cry, let me unload, hold me, kiss me and love me for who I am, regardless of my shortcomings.
sometimes, it is all perplexing.
I totally understand.
ReplyDeleteIt's like part of you is saying "Gosh, boys and relationships are so much drama. Who needs it?" and then another part of you has a longing for a significant other to make you feel loved but not only that, to mean it and want to be with you forever. I blame fairytales, but it's a good sort of blame. Without fairytales, I wouldn't have much of an idea of how to act like a lady since I grew up in a family filled with boys and men.